December 2010
21 posts
Move Bitch, get out the way!
today was my last day on pm shift. i will miss working with my crew as days will be more hectic and way less organized. i am so glad that i will only be working three or four days rather than five in a row. tomorrow is my therapy appointment which i am hoping goes well. i have been slacking bigtime on focusing and centering myself.
on the bf front things are going well. i keep getting irritated...
It feels like tonight...
things are going good with my bf. always makes me scared. i seriously have had a great few days with him. i love spending time with him and his kid. the nights are a bonus…
there are so many things i want to say and divulge bec@ause i am so happy and this is new but i want to be cautious and keep things to myself as well to keep them special. there are things i worry about in terms of...
Merry Christmas to me!
my parents left this morning which bummed me out but it was ok. i got to spend most of the week with them which was awesome. i missed them so much. and my bro who just cracks me up and i love.
last night i went to my bfs house and his kid was so adorably happy to see me. my guy talked about some past stuff which was hard to hear cuz he still struggles with it. in the end it was a good night. i...
Christmas presents...
tomorrow i am hoping to see my bf after he gets off work. i think i really just need to spend some time with him and relax. i hope all will be good with us. i love him so much and i have just been deluding myself by trying to maintain distance thinking that wont hurt me. when in reality ive been all in from the moment he told me he loved me. lets hope i can give him what he deserves for christmas.
Fix it ticket
tonight i was texting my bf on my break. i apologized for being so crazy lately. he said it was ok but then i got the feeling he was holding back. when i asked him if he could stick with me while i work things out he said he didnt know. i mean this is the hardest part. i just had no idea what to say or do from there. it was an honest answer and i dont blame him. he also said it seems like i...
breaking the cycle is hard...
so today i pulled a double. worked am shift and pm shift. i have been having an issue with my guy and pulling a double did not help. he kinda was distant since my friend came down to visit. i didnt help by leaving him in the middle of the night to see her when she got into town. then leaving to go to work early the next day didnt help. then tonight i just had a complete breakdown and told him i...
Hey Jealousy...
so i called in sick today. too much work. working a fiftytwo hour work week is just insane. i cant wait for twelve hour shifts. fml. i have a friend coming down to hang tomorrow which i am excited for. i havent seen her in like a year. the only shit thing is that my boy is all pissy cuz im hanging out with a girlfriend when he wanted to spend time together. ugh. im so confused as to what to do....
oh noooo
done with one of two back to back double shifts at work. tired and feeling like i need my boy.i wont see him till friday if that. more and more i find myself falling for him. hes kinda pulled away since he got a job. i am pretty sure hes just stressed and trying to figure out how to work everything out with having his kid. this next two days will be the hardest cuz of work but then im hoping that...
Weeks go by...
so my man got a job. hes gonna be working four days a week, ten hour days. this is excellent but will not help being able to see him much, at least for the first week or so since i dont start my new schedule till jan. kinda freaking out about christmas cuz my parents will be down and they want to meet alex. i want them to meet him but i am afraid they will say something stupid that will upset alex...
Happy Holidays
out christmas shopping today. still have no idea what i am getting most people. found out my parents are coming down for christmas, but leaving on christmas day. so i dont know if i will be going to my boys house or not. i still dont know what the hell to get him either and i dont know if i should get his kid something or not… still kinda in that wierd new phase. i know i will get the kid...
This is harder than it looks...
tonight i went to my boys place during my lunch break just to see him for a bit since i havent seen him in a couple days of doing doubles. we got to talking about him finding steady work which he is really working hard to find. he was saying that he was thinking about applying for jobs in the bay area, but was hesitant. i want him to find something he wants to do and not be stuck here because of...