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Im having a really difficult time still. I was able to keep it together for a little while but now its stuck. I am questioning whether I can get well enough to maintain my relationship. After seeing a documentary with a woman who relapsed into severe depression after having a child and it put such a strain on her husband. I just dont want to end up like that…
Super incredibly maddening thing about mental illness:
Fighting your ass off to live a normal life and function as well as you can, and instead of getting credit and having people be proud of you for all the efforts you’re making, having people use your apparently normal behavior as a reason to invalidate you and think you weren’t that sick to begin with.
It takes a lot of badassery to act this normal, but the effort is all invisible
So true right now
I have been able to go to the gym 5 times in the past week. I’m seriously hating myself right now in a lot of ways. Mentally I’m not well, physically I need to take care of myself, financially I suck and I have no idea where my job or career will be in a month.
I have been going through some pretty rough stuff at work and am terrified of somehow losing my job or worse. For some reason today I remembered reading Catcher in the Rye in 9th grade. I was so depressed at that time in my life that reading the book was something terrible. I understood everything Holden thought and went through. I am close to that point again. I haven’t felt this scared of life and circumstances and myself…